Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Not Being A Mum

It's summer, which for some reason means that people are out with their kids more. I find myself saying a silent prayer of thanks that they're not my kids.

Part of me thought this whole process might make me a bit broody, but no it's really making me really glad I don't have kids.

There are so many things I want to do with my life that would be ten times harder with children. I want to be able to work late, leave the country at a moment's notice, not come home for a few days, ride on the back of a motorbike, get into relationships that aren't good for me, blast loud music and dance around the place, relocate, drive to a different city in the middle of the night, eat in nice restaurants, where white clothes, have expensive handbags, join the army.

I've wanted to be an adult ever since I can remember. To drink wine and talk about politics, be able to just walk out of a situation you don't want to be in and go for a walk to clear your head, to come home to an empty apartment and make yourself a cup of tea and just sit. I don't want to be responsible for anyone but me. I want my shit together. I want to be independent. Without dependants. Free.

I think I'll genuinely be happy if I never have children.

But this way my fertility doesn't go to waste.

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